On Fear and Parenting

As if fear didn't have a big enough grip on me before becoming a mama, I've surely known it now.

Now, I am not pretending here that I am the only one who struggles with fear and anxiety. But sometimes it feels that way because my dear hubby definitely does not (at least not in the way that I do).

"Is the door locked?"

"Yes, I already checked"

"Could you check again?"

Before having my son, most of my fears had to do with our safety: earthquakes, fires, car accidents. After having my son, these fears increased exponentially (in addition to some new ones) as I tried to take on the role of protector and savior of his life. I felt like I was in control and it was somehow my own doing that kept him alive and well.

I think God knew I needed to be reminded that I was NOT in control when we found out about our son's food allergy to peanuts. We were given an Epipen and told to stay away from nuts, but that is much easier said than done. I became obsessed with internet "researching" aka reading about experiences of anaphylactic shock and lists of brands and companies that were deemed "unsafe" because of the risk of cross contamination with nuts.

I was trying to fake my way into being in control, when really I felt less and less in control the more that I read. Can anyone relate?

A beautiful study in the Psalms this Fall pointed me back to the Person who actually is in control.

We read verses such as,

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1-2)

and

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8)

We were taught that our fears actually reveal something important about us. They show us who and what we value the most. As parents, it's pretty much impossible not to value our children and fear for their lives. In fact, it is a really good thing to value our children and other loved ones.

The problem arises when we begin to value people and things above God. Because the reality is, the people and things in our lives are not really ours. Yes, we have the responsibility and privilege to care for and enjoy our children. But we do not actually have the control.

We live in this beautiful tension where God allows us to protect, but not be the Protector; to help, but not be the Helper; to teach, but not be the Teacher.

I can rest in the fact that God cares infinitely more about the ones whom I love more than I do. No matter what happens here on earth, I can still trust God with everyone and everything. He proved that to me by giving to us his only Son, who lived and died and lived again that we might have abundant life with him. His Son died so that my son might live. My son can live even if he dies.

And then, if God is my greatest treasure, I will never have anything to fear. He and only He is the only one who can never be taken away from me. This is from where my joy and rest can come! This is abundant life!

Is God using any particular situation in our life to help you see that you are not in control? Leave me a comment, I'd love to hear!